Strange Things You Never Thought You Would Hear (With No Context)

[LittleMissNyan]

"Trumpet is the bacon of music"

[raytay]

"I shall plunder your patellas!"
"What-?"
"Patellas be the knees!"

[BigZ]

"Why is there a lady on the ceiling?"

[LittleMissNyan]

"Is that Berdly shaming you for not owning an air fryer??"

[RiverWalker88]

Prithee, I am a hermit. No soul around me doth know.

[thegroundsloth]

are we just waiting for the elephant to die so we can just chuck it into a nuclear reactor?
- someone in my physics class

[DragonTownEpic]

"every morning 3 am we come to the mountain with the rabbits to sing despacito, an ancient ritual that instills the disappointment into the corn"

[raytay]

“Hey hey hey do you want to meet new characters in Bring Me The Horizon?”
- me, barely awake, playing Animal Crossing:New Horizons and wanting to show my brother Cephalabot

[LittleMissNyan]

"[person] your wrong because according to Einstein's theory of life when you multiple Easter by the date that you will die you find out that 6+1 = newtons law. so that means that when you fall of a cliff at a speed of 14.6eggs per second you will hit the ground in three dog legs by that math you can eat a egg faster than you can lick Antarctica which means that when you tickle a egg it will crack"

EDIT: "you're all wrong. who eats animal eggs in this day and age? smh we've got perfectly good slime eggs on the market and you pass them over for disgusting protein clumps? shameful. absolutely shameful."

[Tidalwolf]

"Is mayonnaise an instrument???"